I went outside to see him struggling to go to the bathroom. I watch him for a while and then Brady came out of his room so I went back to settle him back down. Finally I went back to check on Harley and there was no sign of him. He seemed to vanish. I got a flashlight and went out to find him. When I found him he was curled up in a spot in the yard behind the shed and under a bush. He has never done that before. I knew that this looked like he picked his spot to peacefully drift away.
But I couldn't just leave him there. I knew what was happening, but it broke my heart to leave him there. So after about an hour I got him back in the house. We walked a few steps and he rested, walked a little more and then I was able to carry him the rest of the way. He could hardly breathe and didn't want me by his side. That is a first. He typically doesn't leave my side, but at this point he wanted to be alone. After several hours he settled down on the carpet by me. We watched a marathon of The Long Island Medium together and I knitted my Quill. I knew this was most likely my last night with him so we sat together peacefully. I cried almost the whole time.
In the morning I had the boys give him a hug and kiss and left the boys with my mom. Freddy and I went to the vet and they found he had a high fever and a tumor the size of a grapefruit in his abdomen. It was effecting his internal organs and they said had I left him in the yard they were sure he would have passed on his own.
So with tear filled eyes we said goodbye. His suffering was short and for a dog that has had cancer and countless surgeries he lived much longer than I ever thought. He was the best dog. I got him right after I turned 21. I turned 21 the end of November and he was born in January. I had spoken to the breeder before he was born. I knew she was expecting a litter of pups and I wanted a male. She already had one other male reserved. So when only two males were born the other person picked his dog first and I got the other male. I held him for the first time when he was about a week old. I don't even think his eyes were open yet.
He turned out being my best friend and knew my every mood and didn't leave my side. He never really thought Freddy moving into the house was a good idea. He also wasn't to sure about the kids coming along. Even if they did give him food. But he liked me the best and tolerated the rest of the household.
I am sad about his passing, but I am relieved at the same time. I knew the day would come and I was so fearful of how. If you saw all the tumors he had I feared about them stopping him from walking or being able to get around. Although a tumor was his ultimate demise it didn't bother him until the very end.
When I got him, like I said I had just turned 21, and I was renting an apartment at the beach (where I wasn't supposed to have a dog). He didn't like me leaving him and going out to a bar (he could be quite destructive when he was left alone). So I think my freedom of going out was short lived. I think I got a few months. He went to work with me during the day and then as he got older he went to doggy day care at my Mom's house while I worked.
We didn't travel much because I didn't like leaving him.
So now with his passing we have a new mind set and we look forward to getting away. We booked a week long camping trip to Lake George next month and we plan on taking the kids for some one night getaways. So with the sad comes new things to look forward to. I like to think his spirit is still with us and watching over our family. He was the best guard dog and friend. I'm going to miss him, but I know he is at peace now.
And no I don't have any plans of getting another dog. I plan on going away as often as I can. Well for now at least.
Rest in peace good buddy.
7 comments:
oh andee, this is so sad but what a lovely tribute to harley. i know how much he meant to you and your family!!
i know you and the family will miss him dearly!!
big hugs today!!
Spider and Ralph will show him the ropes in doggy heaven. And Millie too! Hugs for you, friend. I know how hard it is and I think it's great that you're looking at the positive side of it too.
i know you loved him dearly. i am sorry.
I'm so sorry Andee. A trip away hopefully will help you heal. xo
I am a puddle right now....big hugs to you, your hubby and kids. I know it's difficult, they are such a huge part of our lives, it's so hard to let go. PS you might want to re-consider getting a dog, they are great for kids (and you too).
andee ~ your post reminded me of a poem I stumbled across on a blog quite a few months ago and the author mentioned her 'epic dog' and how there was only one in a lifetime...
I think Harley was your epic dog
enjoy your time away with the family :)
Melissa
Sharing in the loss of your sweet friend, Harley. It's so hard to say good-bye but you know it's best for the animal. We recently lost my mom's 15 year old dog, Rusty and today I was just saying how it feels so odd not to see him in her yard. She did get a new little dog and we are enjoying her now. I hope you have fun on your outings and perhaps someday a new furry friend will come into your lives and you'll love them with the same love you gave Harley.
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